How do you prepare for divorce and get in the right mindset?
Here's how to prepare for divorce and set yourself up to success.
Divorce can be tough and stressful, but if you prepare for divorce in advance and avoid these common mistakes, you'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary anxiety.
Think about what your goals are:
You want to separate your finances as smoothly and painlessly as possible.
You want to cooperatively work with your spouse to find scheduling solutions if you have children.
You don't want your rights or interests to be ignored; you want your fair share.
You don't want to create hostile relationships with family and friends.
How do you accomplish those goals?
You should get copies of all financial documents. Your spouse may try to hide accounts from you. It's important to find out if there are any retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, bank accounts, credit cards, or property titles or records that don't have your name on them even though you may be entitled to half of them. Find out if you're in a community property state or not.
If you have children, keeping an amicable relationship with your spouse is important. If your children see you fighting with each other or if you spend all your time with your children complaining about your spouse to your children you may damage your relationship with your children. It's also important to try to keep your children's life as normal as possible. This may mean you have to make sacrifices including giving your spouse the house so that the children can stay and attend the same school.
Divorce typically means you have to compromise. If you want to get the things that are most important to you in the divorce, you may have to sacrifice less important things to get them. A lot of attorneys advertise that they'll aggressively fight for your rights, but what you may really want is an attorney who knows how to negotiate and compromise to get what you really need. If you can compromise and work together with your spouse, you won't get everything, but you'll get the most important things. Maybe your spouse wants the marital home, and that's not as important to you, but giving them that house will make them compromise and give you the vacation cabin you really want.
If you can avoid a hostile relationship with your spouse and actually maintain a professional relationship, it may be beneficial in other areas of your life like your friendships. Oftentimes, spouses share networks of friends. And, more than that, they may develop friendships with their spouses' family. Staying on good terms with your spouse during and after the divorce will mean that you can stay on good terms with your friends and family. You don't have to worry about losing friends or developing awkward and uncomfortable relationships.
For more information on how to prepare for divorce, consult with an experienced family law attorney.